Woke up in a flurry to make room for mom and co. to clean the house scheduled for this morning. As time was precious and tight they will have to work quick. I was clearing my personal admin stuff and most importantly, finding out the repayment scheme available for my income tax. It took me quite some time to get it all sorted out. But alas, she never told me how quickly i have to be and I got screwed for being a slow-bugger and obstruction, blaming me for slowing her down. Worst, things of the past were unearthed once again and it let from one thing to another as the she goes on and on. A headache inevitably caused and I had to leave the premises quickly before i get another potentially dangerous whiplash. Reasoning with her does not help at all as it adds more fuel to the fire and keeping silence is not going to work either as it makes her blood boils seeing me. So I decided to make a quick exit, just pack my stuff and left asap. I don't feel happy at all whenever she loses her cool. Most of the time, things happened just because she choosed to do it, especially her volunteering work. But whenever something is amiss, we will get the blame. We hinder her. We obstruct her path. We did not ofter any help. "If cannot handle it, don't go ofter help to do it."
Met up with several colleagues at the sin ming ave prawning area. It was my first time prawning today. Had thought that it was similiar to fishing but found out later that it was much more simplified and more fun. No fanciful reel needed, no heavy weights and endless fishing lines needed. Just a long prawning rod, a long enough fishing line and a hook and viola! Can start prawning already. ^_^ $30 per pax for 3 hours of prawning fun was abit steep, but luckily we caught more than 100 prawns plus a gigantic one and a couple of medium-size ones. Man, they are bigger than the normal ones by 10 or even 20 times. Took my mind off and felt relax while prawning, something that i needed since this morning. Or even for the past few months. Been planning to get a fishing rod and equipment, so that can go bedok jetty to fish since so nearby. Really need to find one day go buy + a prawning rod too!
The day ended with a Happy Hour session with a BBQ. Food was abundle + the prawns that we have caught and everyone had their fill. Feeling abit sad that one of the colleagues is leaving us to pursue a career elsewhere, wishes him all the best to his future endeavours and such blah blah blah. We eat, drink, sing and make merry until late night. It was one of the funniest Happy Hour i had attended. When others left us, nothing was organised for them at all. This is definitely one of the greatest idea the others had thought up with. It shows our appreciations to the hardwork and dedications that colleague had given us and it will not be forgotten. I felt a sense of lost, like an old friend is leaving. Who will be next? :(
Saturday, 30 June 2007
Tuesday, 26 June 2007
Communications Problems
Yessssss! Got a 2 days leave approved! A well deserved long break at the right time. Gonna do some running and sports to work up my body for the upcoming 10km run at ECP. PassionRun ha, just run for fun, i ain't no hardcore runner and i don't expected myself to run like world fastest men Michael Johnson or Donovan Bailey or any other running enthusiasts. I just enjoy running. Like I have said before, I can find solace and peace when i do running. A clear mind while the body moves automatically with a constant breathing system working throughout the run, it feels great. Will also get a fishing rod when i'm free.
Had a very fruitful day working today even though had to stay back for a couple of hours more, but i guess it was worth it. I had a hard time convincing my fellow colleagues and my immediate superior on my theory about some stuff regarding a certain project. I believed that my theory was the right one but the rest think otherwise. How did it happened i didn't know, but all i knew was that in my mind and my heart, i am right. I had to go through with them over and over again about my theory and everytime they were not convince and pointed out strongly that i was wrong. I felt the pressure was all over me. It was not a nice feeling actually, when you are alone fighting to prove a valid point while the rest are against you. They were already being misled to believe that they were right, while in actual fact they weren't.
Especially when the superior, who has more experience, is also against your point. It was harder to convince him. It was EVEN HARDER to prove that he and the rest were wrong too. Our discussion became more and more intense, and with every passing moment, it became a heated debate over whose theory was right and wrong. It came to a point where i could feel that the rest were getting very frustrated and angry that they could just whack me in the face and tell me straight to "wake up my idea". But i persisted that i was right. I don't know why and i almost gave in. In my mind i was thinking: "maybe i was wrong and they are right. maybe i didn't get my facts right." I could see the frustration in my superior, his blood seems boiling as I kept disagreeing with their theory repeatedly and trying to convince them with mine. It seems to him that I'm a "knuckle-head" and i could not get what he is trying to telling me into my "thick skull". Many unpleasant thoughts were running through my mind at that point of time. I could feel the tension mounting on everybody including me. If i give in at that point of time, definitely it will be worse for me in the near future. I didn't. I stick to my points and stood my ground. With my last bit of faith and confidence, i decided to push on again one last time. Slowly one by one they started to see what i see, and were finally convinced that I was right all along, even though they jokingly commented that "I didn't put it in a more clearer view" to them.
Frankly speaking, i feel that they were already getting restless with me. Probably it was because that i had a track record of "unable to understand at first time" in many situations. Sometimes, I had to be told two or more times before i realised what is happening. I had inevitably created a bad impression on myself. I could be labelled "slow", "illogical", "uncomprehensive". No wonder people will easily brush me off. No one can understand what i was trying to explain. Maybe it's the way i talked / present myself. Or the way i tried to argue my points, seems like i cannot do that very well and others tend to less receptive towards me.
I felt lost and hopeless. I kept asking myself, "am i so uncomprehensible?"
Had a very fruitful day working today even though had to stay back for a couple of hours more, but i guess it was worth it. I had a hard time convincing my fellow colleagues and my immediate superior on my theory about some stuff regarding a certain project. I believed that my theory was the right one but the rest think otherwise. How did it happened i didn't know, but all i knew was that in my mind and my heart, i am right. I had to go through with them over and over again about my theory and everytime they were not convince and pointed out strongly that i was wrong. I felt the pressure was all over me. It was not a nice feeling actually, when you are alone fighting to prove a valid point while the rest are against you. They were already being misled to believe that they were right, while in actual fact they weren't.
Especially when the superior, who has more experience, is also against your point. It was harder to convince him. It was EVEN HARDER to prove that he and the rest were wrong too. Our discussion became more and more intense, and with every passing moment, it became a heated debate over whose theory was right and wrong. It came to a point where i could feel that the rest were getting very frustrated and angry that they could just whack me in the face and tell me straight to "wake up my idea". But i persisted that i was right. I don't know why and i almost gave in. In my mind i was thinking: "maybe i was wrong and they are right. maybe i didn't get my facts right." I could see the frustration in my superior, his blood seems boiling as I kept disagreeing with their theory repeatedly and trying to convince them with mine. It seems to him that I'm a "knuckle-head" and i could not get what he is trying to telling me into my "thick skull". Many unpleasant thoughts were running through my mind at that point of time. I could feel the tension mounting on everybody including me. If i give in at that point of time, definitely it will be worse for me in the near future. I didn't. I stick to my points and stood my ground. With my last bit of faith and confidence, i decided to push on again one last time. Slowly one by one they started to see what i see, and were finally convinced that I was right all along, even though they jokingly commented that "I didn't put it in a more clearer view" to them.
Frankly speaking, i feel that they were already getting restless with me. Probably it was because that i had a track record of "unable to understand at first time" in many situations. Sometimes, I had to be told two or more times before i realised what is happening. I had inevitably created a bad impression on myself. I could be labelled "slow", "illogical", "uncomprehensive". No wonder people will easily brush me off. No one can understand what i was trying to explain. Maybe it's the way i talked / present myself. Or the way i tried to argue my points, seems like i cannot do that very well and others tend to less receptive towards me.
I felt lost and hopeless. I kept asking myself, "am i so uncomprehensible?"
Had a talk with my ex-supervisor about this matter. Advised me to hold back abit and slowly lead others to my idea, then let them see what i see. He added that it could be me that was right but at the end of the day, i didn't do myself any favor. "it is easy to do the talking, but harder to convince others." He is right and i could not agree more. What's the point of discussing what's right and what's wrong when it was getting more tensed and heated as the discussion goes on and on? Everyone's frustrated including me. So do i just let them be first and find out their mistakes while letting time tell that i was eventually right? I couldn't do that, especially when timing plays a crucial part. I had to make those certain decisions that could damage my relationship with my colleagues further but i had no choice. All i can do was damage control and fix the problems in the near future, although it will take a long period of time. The perils i have face each and everyday, do you really think that i am actually smiling everyday?
Work is fun for me
It has been a slow start for the beginning of the last week of this month. Was feeling sleepy throughout the day. Normally I'll feel more awake after lunch but today was different. I dozed off a number of times on different occasions and at different places, until i had my first coffee in the later afternoon teabreak. Guess i should have grab one in the early morning. I need almost 3-5 servings of coffee a day. But it hasn't been easy since i'm still awake after 12am. Drink too much, too awake to sleep, drink too little and i dozed off during working hours. I need to find the balance or else i'll be in trouble really soon if i'm not careful enough.
Just checked on my number of vacation days left. Apparently, I haven't been taking much day offs as expected. Now almost half of the year has gone by, yet i still have more than a month of day offs. I still have a bunch of off-in-lieu too. Have clear a bunch of those, but somehow more came in form of no MC, job well done and etc. More like you clear 1 day OIL, you get 1 day OIL free! I don't know why. People say i work too much and stay back too often. Some even crack jokes about it.
"Why don't you take 2 days leave? Then come back to work. Let others go on leave on your behalf."
I agreed that I stay back too often and i work too much, but i did that mainly because the work was hard to comprehend and i need more time to understand what was going on. So instead of putting it off until tomorrow or next week, might as well stay back for awhile to make sure i know what had happened. I'm not hardworking or what, just that i need more time to understand certain issues and things. Sometimes i find work is fun, never too bored for me. Others say i'm crazy, some say i'm slow, whatever they say, they are right. I'm a slow learner and i'm crazy about my work. ^_^
Just checked on my number of vacation days left. Apparently, I haven't been taking much day offs as expected. Now almost half of the year has gone by, yet i still have more than a month of day offs. I still have a bunch of off-in-lieu too. Have clear a bunch of those, but somehow more came in form of no MC, job well done and etc. More like you clear 1 day OIL, you get 1 day OIL free! I don't know why. People say i work too much and stay back too often. Some even crack jokes about it.
"Why don't you take 2 days leave? Then come back to work. Let others go on leave on your behalf."
I agreed that I stay back too often and i work too much, but i did that mainly because the work was hard to comprehend and i need more time to understand what was going on. So instead of putting it off until tomorrow or next week, might as well stay back for awhile to make sure i know what had happened. I'm not hardworking or what, just that i need more time to understand certain issues and things. Sometimes i find work is fun, never too bored for me. Others say i'm crazy, some say i'm slow, whatever they say, they are right. I'm a slow learner and i'm crazy about my work. ^_^
Monday, 25 June 2007
Planning Ahead
Finally, can catch a short month break. It has been really a fulfilling time for the past couple of months with work and lessons. Endless homework keep coming in while a steady flow of work targets and objectives needs to be achieved. Late nights burning midnight oil is a must and thankfully weekends are the required recharge periods that i can take time to sleep longer. Plus a work improvement project. It's really an icing on the cake. Embarking on a journey to develop some software, don't know if can work, IT BETTER BE WORKING WHEN I'M DONE WITH IT IN TIME FOR THE EXHIBITION... It may sounds like a break, but it's not. I just need the time to do my stuff and I'm just lucky that it falls in JULY, can plan for my holiday trip in OCTOBER. Really hope it can go through, I need a long vacation since the last one, two years ago. Targets to be set for the second half of 2007:
1) pass my exams by SEPTEMBER
2) go for my long vacations (2 weeks!)
3) get my own set of wheels
conditions 2) and 3) will be happily dealt with once condition 1) is fully met. MUST MAKE IT HAPPEN.
What i really want to do is to get what i want... but not everything that i want, i can get. Yah, i can get the above three if i work hard and diligently and of course with logic and plannings, these are doable. But for the rest... i guess when the time comes it will come. And if it doesn't? Well, probably I'll have to wait longer or maybe supposed it's not fated for me, for i'll come to a horrible death if i do haahaahaa... ... hmmm not amusing at all. Shit. Anyway, waiting is not the key to success, it's like waiting for durian to drop. I mean i got to face the facts, I cannot wait for the durian to drop. I got to pick my own durian. But then again, that durian does not seems to eagar to be picked because it is growing very high up in the tree and I thought i could get it but I was wrong... the tree grew higher one day, and it was so high until i could not reach it. The tree was like telling me,
"HEY BUGGER YOU! YOU CANNOT PICK THIS DURIAN! NOT FOR YOU! GO AWAY! SHOO!"
An additional new member to the family joined us last month. A chubby looking boy. Welcome aboard and may you have a pleasant stay with us. Eternally period.
1 x close friends of mine (a.k.a mz) finally told me what happened. Well, it's kinda weird when she does not talks to you or pay any attention to you, i.e. she is ignoring you. I can sense it. It's coming. She was p***ed with me. I can tell it. Hey come on we know each others for certain period now, of course i can tell when my close friends are angry with me. Well, I've made some unremarkable comments lately about her regarding certain issues and that's what made her blood boiled and the thermometer is like over 100 degrees... and *pop*
I didn't knew it until i find out from her. I was really tactless, insensitive and dumb to have said those things. Who knows how many others i had actually p***ed off with my comments? Worse things were, I thought those were harmless comments, but i didn't realised that I had hurt her feelings. I never realised that my comments could be something so harmful. I thought it was just plainly cute and playful but I never knew how wrong i was back then. Some famous figure recently said " ... acting dumb is no longer cute... " I totally agreed. From now on, no more acting stupid, less talk and more quietness to fill the air with serenity and peace.
Planning for the OCTOBER vacation trip was, well, it seems fun to go there. More closer to the wilderness and mother nature is the place where i am going. The altitude is going to be much higher too than S'pore. I prefer rural living than a urban here. (of course with certain amendities that i would prefer too to have with me in my possession heehee like my notebook and cable tv) The pace of living is too fast for me here.
Morning travelling to work. work. morning teabreak. work. lunchtime. work. afternoon teabreak. work. goes home after work. do homework. sleep late. Morning travelling to work.
work... ... ... ... and the cycle repeats itself. There's not enough time to complete my stuff. So many others events and things that are not relevant but still need to be done. Luckily i still got some form of life, I steal abit of time here and there to meet up with friends and make merry. But then again, i got to steal abit of time here and there to replace the time I've stolen. And this evil cycle goes on and on... 24 hours becomes nothing when i've stolen every second. So I've begin to steal my sleeping hours... now left 4 hours. Tonight, i am left with 3hours and 22mins. GOTTA SLEEP ....zzz zzz ZZZ ZZZ
1) pass my exams by SEPTEMBER
2) go for my long vacations (2 weeks!)
3) get my own set of wheels
conditions 2) and 3) will be happily dealt with once condition 1) is fully met. MUST MAKE IT HAPPEN.
What i really want to do is to get what i want... but not everything that i want, i can get. Yah, i can get the above three if i work hard and diligently and of course with logic and plannings, these are doable. But for the rest... i guess when the time comes it will come. And if it doesn't? Well, probably I'll have to wait longer or maybe supposed it's not fated for me, for i'll come to a horrible death if i do haahaahaa... ... hmmm not amusing at all. Shit. Anyway, waiting is not the key to success, it's like waiting for durian to drop. I mean i got to face the facts, I cannot wait for the durian to drop. I got to pick my own durian. But then again, that durian does not seems to eagar to be picked because it is growing very high up in the tree and I thought i could get it but I was wrong... the tree grew higher one day, and it was so high until i could not reach it. The tree was like telling me,
"HEY BUGGER YOU! YOU CANNOT PICK THIS DURIAN! NOT FOR YOU! GO AWAY! SHOO!"
An additional new member to the family joined us last month. A chubby looking boy. Welcome aboard and may you have a pleasant stay with us. Eternally period.
1 x close friends of mine (a.k.a mz) finally told me what happened. Well, it's kinda weird when she does not talks to you or pay any attention to you, i.e. she is ignoring you. I can sense it. It's coming. She was p***ed with me. I can tell it. Hey come on we know each others for certain period now, of course i can tell when my close friends are angry with me. Well, I've made some unremarkable comments lately about her regarding certain issues and that's what made her blood boiled and the thermometer is like over 100 degrees... and *pop*
I didn't knew it until i find out from her. I was really tactless, insensitive and dumb to have said those things. Who knows how many others i had actually p***ed off with my comments? Worse things were, I thought those were harmless comments, but i didn't realised that I had hurt her feelings. I never realised that my comments could be something so harmful. I thought it was just plainly cute and playful but I never knew how wrong i was back then. Some famous figure recently said " ... acting dumb is no longer cute... " I totally agreed. From now on, no more acting stupid, less talk and more quietness to fill the air with serenity and peace.
Planning for the OCTOBER vacation trip was, well, it seems fun to go there. More closer to the wilderness and mother nature is the place where i am going. The altitude is going to be much higher too than S'pore. I prefer rural living than a urban here. (of course with certain amendities that i would prefer too to have with me in my possession heehee like my notebook and cable tv) The pace of living is too fast for me here.
Morning travelling to work. work. morning teabreak. work. lunchtime. work. afternoon teabreak. work. goes home after work. do homework. sleep late. Morning travelling to work.
work... ... ... ... and the cycle repeats itself. There's not enough time to complete my stuff. So many others events and things that are not relevant but still need to be done. Luckily i still got some form of life, I steal abit of time here and there to meet up with friends and make merry. But then again, i got to steal abit of time here and there to replace the time I've stolen. And this evil cycle goes on and on... 24 hours becomes nothing when i've stolen every second. So I've begin to steal my sleeping hours... now left 4 hours. Tonight, i am left with 3hours and 22mins. GOTTA SLEEP ....zzz zzz ZZZ ZZZ
Friday, 15 June 2007
Update
Pretty boring days for the past weeks, lots of work to do and missed a lot of sleep. Got recharged on weekends but still feeling extremely exhausted on weekdays. How to recharge with 3-4 hours of sleep? Homework need to be done, no ideas for my usms, where got the time? why the f*** one day is only 24 hours?
Went running with MZ on Monday, it has been quite awhile since we last ran. I had given all and MZ complained that I was running too fast. How can i be running too fast when she's able to catch up with me? Not I'm a MCP or what, but if she can catch up with me, then something must be wrong with me. Either I'm running too slow or I'm getting fat. I'm NOT FAT. So i ran F.A.S.T.E.R.
Bad idea. End results: more lethargic and exhausted, slept at during working hours. Worst, my thighs hurts. Now I sleep like a pig during my rest time. Die. Whatever f*** happen during my sleep, I don't know. S**t. I'm getting more and more like my nephew, who sleeps 24hours. Ha. A really piglet.
Went running with MZ on Monday, it has been quite awhile since we last ran. I had given all and MZ complained that I was running too fast. How can i be running too fast when she's able to catch up with me? Not I'm a MCP or what, but if she can catch up with me, then something must be wrong with me. Either I'm running too slow or I'm getting fat. I'm NOT FAT. So i ran F.A.S.T.E.R.
Bad idea. End results: more lethargic and exhausted, slept at during working hours. Worst, my thighs hurts. Now I sleep like a pig during my rest time. Die. Whatever f*** happen during my sleep, I don't know. S**t. I'm getting more and more like my nephew, who sleeps 24hours. Ha. A really piglet.
Tuesday, 5 June 2007
second kopi tea house branch
Closed down the previous blog site, this is still better. Now doing a test run, posting new posts and later continue mugging and hopefully can finish my homework with godspeed... ...
